I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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