I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
