so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
