Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
