Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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