At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
