My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
