My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
