I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize