I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
