We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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