accomplished twins. life is a go
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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