She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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