sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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