I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
