My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
