Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
