either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
