I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
