Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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