when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize