so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
