i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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