No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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