I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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