I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
