she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
