I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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