If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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