Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize