the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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