you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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