Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
