What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
