YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
