dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
