I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
