OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
