Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
