the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
