oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
