You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
