Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And then he peed in my hair
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