i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
