Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
