I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's blow job season.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
