I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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