Is it normal to miss your booty call?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
