it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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