I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize