even my farts smell like vagina
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
