I love black thongs
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
