No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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