Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
