wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
