Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What a dumb baby whore.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize