she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
