The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
