Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
