It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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