...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
