Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
