i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize