i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
