Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
