weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
