i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
